It’s very easy to think of dating as a kind of test we must pass, or a process we must check off. Most of us know the format – we see someone we’d like to date, they ask us or we ask them out, you arrange a time and a place, and you enjoy an activity. Then perhaps you enjoy three to five dates before things get a little more intimate. This might become a regular thing, and then you see what happens from there.
So far, so good. Yet with reality shows that showcase dating as a multi-layered set of ‘rounds and eliminations,’ speed dating, blind dates, matchmaking sites, and even curating the best dating profiles for online matches, it can sometimes feel that you’re trying to figure out a puzzle, or complete a video game level as opposed to enjoying some fun.
Should dating be like that? Well, maybe sometimes there’s room for it. But if you just want to have fun again, and not feel obligated to jump through hoops all of the time, you might find some value in the following advice.
Vary Up Your Activities
What do you picture, when you think of a date? Perhaps a lovely meal out, some wine, some classical or jazz music, dressing your best, and a lazy walk through the city. But the truth is that a date can be anything, and is often best when you get to talk and experience something together. So for instance, bowling, walking, shopping, enjoying a new experience like axe-throwing, or even doing something that interests you both such as cycling in the park can be a nice way to start it all. Vary up your activities. Go for the fun of what you’re doing, not just the person. This is the best way to build bonds with anyone in life.
Try A Different Format
You might try online dating to vet someone a little before you meet them – try these dating profile examples. Perhaps you could enjoy a group date with your friends, so that everyone has a good time, and can make memories together without that one-on-one intensity.
A date doesn’t even have to be a date to begin with. It might just be that you and a colleague talk about your mutual love for theatre, and decide to go to the next play in your town because you have no one else to go with. This kind of fun-searching might turn into something more serious, it might not. Funnily enough, the less obligation there is, the better off you’ll feel.
Meet Someone Through A Mutual Passion
When we think of two people dating, we tend to think of a very formal process in which they meet and then follow the path we laid out in our first paragraph. But it doesn’t have to be separate from the general flow of life.
Sometimes, meeting someone through a mutual passion is a fun way to find someone, naturally and organically. Heading to clubs, passion groups, meets, and those dedicated to passions you love helps you naturally meet people who are into the same interests as you. The more you explore your passions, the more your passions help define your forward approach, and the more passionate people surround you. It’s hard not to see how this can take away that artificial arrangement from the dating process. With this advice, you’re sure to ensure dating becomes fun again.
*This is a collaborative post