I have struggled for most of my life with absolutely no self-confidence and self-belief at all. I think unless you struggle with confidence issues, you just won’t understand just how much it can affect you and your life.
The lack of confidence in myself has really held me back in life, and stopped me from doing so many things I have always wanted to do. I also think my lack of confidence has contributed to people treating me badly throughout my life – from friends, work colleague and partners. Feeling so bad about myself means that I have allowed people to treat me badly and not been able to stand up for myself because I always felt like I deserved to be treated that way.
Being in a relationship and struggling with self-confidence is so hard because no matter how much your partner tells you they love you and want to be with you, you always believe that they will lead you for someone else – someone better, someone prettier, someone thinner, someone less stressy than you. Experiencing all those feelings and emotions through my last relationship and meant I never really felt happy or settled.
When that relationship ended, I was a completely broken person. I thought I would never cope on my own, I thought I couldn’t live without him, and I guess anyone who has experienced heartbreak and loss will understand how I felt. I went through months and months of not knowing what to do with myself, not wanting to see people or friends and struggling with just everyday things like going to work. It took me a really long time to understand the relationship had ended. I had to start moving on with my life and most importantly start finding who I was again. My lack of confidence meant that I had lost me – I had lost the person I was and all the things I enjoyed.
It took me a really long time – and as cliche as it is – time really is a great healer. But for me, it was more than that. My broken heart from my relationship ending healed, but also day my day I grew stronger in myself. I was single for the first time in 5 years and I realised that for me to love myself, like myself, improve my self-confidence and my self-worth, I needed to be single. For once, I need to be selfish and spend some time on me.
I can’t say that I completely love myself or that my belief in myself is completely there yet. I am on a journey of discovery. Finding me again. It’s not always an easy journey, but for me to find true happiness in life and to love myself and feel worthy of being happy, this is a journey I need to take.
One day I will love myself and be happy with the person I see when I look in the mirror. I will feel worthy of happiness and the love of someone special in my life.
Do you struggle with confidence in yourself? Do you have any tips on managing self-confidence? I would love to hear from you – leave me a comment and let me know.