This is going to be a really hard post for me to write, and to share with you guys, but I am hoping by putting it out there, it will help me, and make me realise what I need to do to make things good again, and that I need to change.
I know this all sounds a bit dramatic, and I don’t mean it to be, but for me this is quite a big thing.
If you guys have been following me for a while, you know that last year I was following Slimming World, and that I ended up losing 5 stone. If you want to know more about my Slimming World journey, have a read of my posts HERE.
Well, life has been really difficult, I lost all my motivation for losing weight and getting healthy, and I pretty much have put all my weight back on again – although I have no idea, as I haven’t been able to face weighing myself since February this year. I am so angry with myself, I am so embarrassed with myself. I just don’t seem to be able to stop eating crappy food. I have let myself go, and I feel so horrible about myself.
I literally cant even face going to the gym as well, as my confidence in myself has hit rock bottom, I am so worried that people will laugh at me – you know the kind of thing “Fat girl at the gym – who does she think she is”.
I know I cant carry on like this, as it is really not healthy for my body, and it is not good for my mind, as my confidence in myself is so low at the moment. I don’t really want to do anything or go out anywhere, and I certainly don’t want to go shopping for new summer clothes. I just want to feel good about myself again, and I want to look good again.
I don’t want to put the blame completely on the stressful (as hell) time I had at the end of last year and the beginning of this year, as I know that I should be able to practise self-control and not give into eating the crap all the time, but I just don’t seem to have that motivation at the moment.
Any help or advice you guys have would be greatly appreciated, and sorry for sounding so dramatic.