Tough Times

I think this might be a bit of a long rambly one – sorry!

I think we all go through times in life that are tough, and you think to yourself “how am I going to get through this” and “what did I do to deserve such shit”.
I am very much a believer in that the hard times make us stronger in the long run, and that no matter how hard things are for me right now, there is someone else out there somewhere going through a hell of a lot more than me.
I have experienced a lot of tough times in my life over the last few years (which I wont bore you all with), but I truly believed that I had become a much stronger person as a result of it, and that my coping strategies would get me though anything.

That is until I became very ill a few years ago, and my god, my world turned upside down in a matter of days. I had been under a lot of pressure in a job I used to work in, which included working very long hours and shift work. I knew I wasn’t feeling well, but put it down to tiredness, stress and being the wrong time of the year for me (it was December)
I was rushed into hospital with a serious infection that was affecting my whole body. Apparently, I had developed an infection in my clavicle bone, which began working its way through me –  I was being poisoned by my own body. I was immediately put on an IV Drip which I had to have 6 days times a day with super strong antibiotics to try and kill the infection.

Cutting a VERY long story short, I was told that if I didn’t have the IV antibiotics that I would die by the end of the year due to septicaemia. Not only that, but I was transferred from my local hospital to a specialist hospital about 40 miles from my home. It meant that my family and friends would have an hour travelling to see me, and then an hour to travel back home again. I felt very isolated and alone, but I was getting very specialised care.

The team who were in charge of me decided that I needed to have surgery, but they needed the infection to begin to clear up first. My veins were shutting down and all my cannulas would blow out – I started to feel like a human pin cushion, as they tried in all sorts of places to get a cannula into me – in the end I ended up with one in my neck.

I think one of the worst things for me was I was in hospital at Christmas time. I woke up in my hospital bed on Christmas morning – the nursing team had left me a little Christmas present, which was very sweet, but I was devastated that I couldn’t be with my family on Christmas morning. My Consultant did let me go home for a few days over Christmas – so my boyfriend picked me up about 11am at I was home with my family for Christmas lunch – it was so amazing.

I had to go back to hospital on 27th December in preparation for my surgery. I was fitted with a PIK Line, which enabled me to have IV antibiotics at home. I was allowed home again on 31st December – just in time to celebrate the New Year.

Sadly, my year didn’t start that brilliantly – I was off work sick for several months. I had the PIK Line fitted, and I was having the IV antibiotics administered via the line several times a day by a nurse. I finally was well enough to have my surgery.

I had half my clavicle bone removed as it was destroyed by the infection. The operation went really well and all traces of infection were removed. I was in hospital for 5 days after my surgery as I had a chest drain in, and they weren’t happy to discharge me until I wasn’t draining any more blood out. This was even more frustrating for me, as I felt so well in myself after the surgery, I just desperately wanted to be at home.

When I finally got home, I made the decision to change aspects of my life for the better. I decide to follow a career path I had always wanted, and I changed my job, which turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made.

And you know what? It really is true about the tough times making you a stronger and better person. I generally feel like the shit time I went though was for a reason, and it has now helped me deal with many things in my life, without crumbling (too much!)

Life is a journey, its not always pretty and its not always easy, but its how we choose to deal with the hard and tough times that really shows the world how much of a strong person you are.

And I truly believe that. 

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